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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like some real shady stuff. Bein’ an actuary, I crunch numbers all day, but this? This ain’t no spreadsheet, pal! I’m picturin’ it like somethin’ outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – ya know, my fave flick. Like, what if Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and weird, went lookin’ for a hooker instead’a mopin’ over Margot? “I’m going to lose my mind,” he’d say, but with a dame on his arm, heh!

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So, I finally get to the café, and guess what? The barista, this dude named Joris, spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he’s super chill about it, laughing it off. I can’t help but laugh too. I mean, it’s just coffee, right? But still, I’m like, “C’mon, man, I need this to survive!”

John Ness Obituary (1937 - 2022) - Murray, UT - The Salt Lake Tribune