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Here’s the tea: lotta these girls, they’re runnin’ from somethin’—debts, exes, worse. Red? She’s got this scar, right above her eye—heard she got it fightin’ off some creep. Makes me happy she’s tough, but sad too, ya know? World’s messed up. I’m yellin’ in my head, “Drake, don’t get soft now!” So I ask her, “Yo, who’s your pimp?” She laughs—straight up cackles—and says, “Ain’t nobody own me, suit.” Savage. I’m shook, fam.

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But then, bam! My oven starts acting up. It’s like it’s possessed or something. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “Great, just what I need!” I run to the back, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. Smoke everywhere! I’m flailing my arms, trying to fan it out. I’m cursing in Dutch, English, whatever comes out. Finally, I get it under control, but my heart’s racing like I just ran a marathon.

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