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About Breda

So, I see this girl, right? She’s posted up, leanin’ on a wall like she invented chillin’. I’m like, “Yo, you workin’?” She nods, slow, like I’m dumb for askin’. Fair. I’m sweatin’, feelin’ like a rookie swineherd losin’ his pigs. She’s all, “What you want, fam?” I’m thinkin’, damn, this ain’t no lobby boy service. No “May I assist you, sir?”—nah, it’s straight cash talk. I’m pissed tho, ‘cause some dude earlier tried rippin’ me off—50 bucks for directions? Get outta here, clown.

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Then, I decided to grab a quick bite at that little café on de Markt. You know, the one with the weirdly shaped pastries? I ordered a “Matenveld Special” or whatever. It was supposed to be a croissant, but it looked more like a sad pancake. I mean, come on! I was expecting flaky goodness, not a breakfast tragedy.