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Me mate Kimo, he says, “Bruh, dey everywhere!” Got mad once, dis haole tourist stiffed her, she cursed him out—loud! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I yelled in me head, lovin da chaos. Little secret, yeah? Old timers say prossies worked da pineapple fields back in da day—true story! Hidin from da bosses, makin quick cash. Wild, huh? Surprised me, dat history—thought it was all surf and Spam musubi.

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While I was munching on my pancake, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They were going at it about who left the lights on. I mean, really? You’re in Matenveld, not a soap opera! I almost laughed, but then I thought, “What if they’re right? What if the lights are still on?”