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But here’s the deal – ya gotta be sharp. Some pimp’ll rob ya blind. Happened to my mate, Sasha. Idiot paid upfront, got a black eye instead. Laughed my ass off – dumbass! Little known fact? Moscow’s got “secret menus.” Ask the right guy, you’ll find em anywhere – hotels, back alleys, even near the Kremlin. Surprised me first time. Thought, “Hell, even my guards prolly know!”

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Tomorrow’s a new day, and who knows what’ll happen? Maybe I’ll finally get that appeltaart. Or maybe I’ll just trip again. Either way, bring it on!

Liwa-e-Ahmadiyyat: Flying in the winds of the land of windmills