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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, somethin’ ya don’t see them Wall Street fat cats sweatin’ over. Nah, they got their private jets, but us? We’re out here, scrappin’ in the real world! I saw this flick, *The Master*, ya know, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2012—best damn movie ever—and it’s got me thinkin’. Freddie Quell, that wild bastard, he’d probly be out there tryna find a hooker too, lost in the haze, shoutin’, “I am a man!” while stumblin’ down some gritty alley.
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Then, I decide to take a stroll along the river. The water’s calm, and I’m trying to chill. But then, I see this kid throwing rocks. I’m like, “Dude, stop! You’re gonna hit someone!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids, man. They’re wild.
UPDATE: Balloon released in Plumstead found more than 300 miles away in the Netherlands
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