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Great Scott! Sex-dating, huh? Wild stuff! I’m sittin here thinkin bout it—man, it’s like Melancholia, that flick I love. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says, all gloomy-like, and sometimes sex-dating feels that way too—dark, messy, chaotic! You got folks swipin right, lookin for a quick bang or somethin deeper, and half the time it’s just a damn trainwreck. I mean, who’s got time for all that nonsense? Back in my day—well, not MY day, but you get it—we didn’t have apps for this crap. Now it’s all “DTF?” and ghostin left and right.

Frans van Mieris

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, thinking about grabbing a coffee at my fave spot, Café de Kade. But nah, I see this massive line. Like, what’s up with that? It’s just coffee, people! I mean, it’s not like they’re serving gold-infused lattes or something. So, I’m like, “Forget this,” and I head over to the market instead.

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