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So, I spot this one gal—foxy, legs for days, total minx! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “Shag me now or shag me later, baby!” Real smooth, Austin-style. Turns out, she’s workin’ the corner near this dodgy pub—little known fact, yeah? Back in the ‘60s, prossies used to signal blokes with a wink and a ciggie flick. Proper spy move, innit? Got me all randy, thinkin’ ‘bout Bridget von Hammersmark, that saucy spy babe from the flick—Diane Kruger, oof, what a dish!

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but whatever. I keep walking. I hit up the Pijnacker-Nootdorp train station. I’m waiting for my train to The Hague. I’m scrolling through my phone, and then I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some dude is arguing with the ticket machine. Like, bro, it’s just a machine! Chill out! But he’s going off, yelling at it like it’s a person. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who argues with a ticket machine?

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