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But Great Scott, the fakes! Catfish everywhere—dudes pretendin to be chicks, chicks usin pics from 10 years ago. Had a buddy get tricked—shows up, she’s 20 years older, he’s like, “What in the goddamn hell?” Funny now, but he was mad as a hornet then. Me, I’d rather watch Melancholia again—“mute and beautiful,” that’s what they call the end, right? Sex-dating ain’t mute, tho—loud, sloppy, in your face. Exaggeratin? Maybe! But it’s a circus, I swear.

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I get to the job site, which is near the old church on the Kerkstraat. Beautiful place, but man, the work is brutal. I’m blasting away at this old metal structure, and it’s like the metal’s laughing at me. “You think you can take me down?” Yeah, well, I’m about to show you who’s boss!

Buckingham Palace announces Princess Anne's role after King Charles' major decision