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I’m picturin’ it now—me waddlin’ down the street, all “Hiii, find a prostitute time!” People stare, I trip, it’s a mess! In “Certified Copy,” they say, “We’re all a bit fake,” and I’m like—yep, totes! These gals, they’re actin’, puttin’ on a show! Blows my mind! Did ya know, back in old times, prostitutes had secret codes? Like, a red ribbon meant “I’m open!” Wild, huh? Surprised me tons!

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After the chaos, I decide to hit the Erasmus Bridge. You know, the one that looks like a giant swan? I’m walking, feeling all philosophical. “Life’s a journey,” I think. Then I trip over my own feet. Classic me.

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