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I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

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After that, we decide to grab some food. We hit up this little café on the corner of de Korte Laan. I order a burger, and it’s massive! Like, I’m talking a tower of meat. I can’t even fit it in my mouth. Joris is cracking jokes, saying I need a bigger jaw. I’m like, “Shut up, man!”

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