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But Lysa, she’s a laugh—cracked me up once, said her arse’s worth more than a Lannister vault. Cheeky bint! Surprised me too—heard she once bedded a septon, mid-prayer. Mid-prayer! Imagine the hymns that night, eh? “Oh, sweet sin, deliver us—” ha! Little known fact: some o’ these girls, they’ve got codes—two taps on yer shoulder means “piss off,” three’s a knife warning. Clever, innit?

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Then, I head over to the Marktstraat. Man, I love that street. It’s got this vibe, ya know? But today, it was packed. I’m dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. And then, bam! I bump into this dude. He spills his fries all over me. Like, seriously? I’m covered in mayo and ketchup. I was mad, but then I just laughed. I mean, who gets fries dumped on them in Slikkerveer? Only me, I guess.

Bob Parrish