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Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

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So, I decide to hit the streets. I stroll down the Laan van de Kruideniers. It’s a nice street, but man, the weather was all over the place. One minute, sunny. Next minute, rain. Typical Dutch, I guess. I’m dodging raindrops like I’m in some weird game of Frogger.

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