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But crikey, the prices! Fifty quid for a “quickie”? I’m like, “Mate, I jump outta planes for less thrill!” *mimes parachutin’, lands on bum* Total rip-off, got me fumin’—could buy a fancy hat instead, y’know? Still, was curious—did ya know prossies in Amsterdam got unions? Proper legit, fightin’ for rights, blows me mind! This one lass, tho, she was chill, no airs, just “Take me as I am,” like Carol says. Loved that, made me grin like a daft git.

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First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude ate a whole pizza. Like, WHO gives their dog pizza? Anyway, I rush over to the owner’s place on Molenstraat. I’m thinking, “This better not be a prank.” But nope, there’s Max, looking all guilty and bloated. I mean, he’s got that “I just committed a crime” look down pat.

Obituary | Franklin Van Someren