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Now, don’t get me wrong—I ain’t judgin’. Fool me once, shame on—uh, shame on you! Fool me twice—well, you can’t fool me again, ‘cause I’m sharp as a tack, y’hear? I seen some stuff investigatin’ claims—prostitutes caught up in scams, fakin’ injuries for cash. One gal, swear to God, said she slipped on a banana peel in a motel room! A banana peel! I laughed so hard I near choked on my BBQ. “There’s a fella who’s got hisself a temper,” like Bob Ford in the movie, and I was mad as hell—wastin’ my time with that malarkey.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms by. He’s like, “Hey mister, need a hand?” I’m thinking, “What can a kid do?” But he hops off, and starts directing traffic. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!”

Nearly half of Dutch supermarkets open on Christmas Day