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About Amsterdam

I roll up, shades on, feelin like a champ. This chick struts over—legs for days, skirt shorter than a jobber’s career. “What’s your name?” I growl, all Hulkster bravado. She’s like, “Does it matter?” Ha! Cold as ice, brother! Made me laugh, but also pissed me off—gimme somethin to work with, lady! I’m thinkin, “I lie to myself all the time,” like in *Memento*. Am I even here for this? Brain’s spinnin.

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But then, I trip over a curb. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Ugh, why do I even walk?” Joris is dying laughing, and I’m just trying to play it cool. I get up, brush myself off, and we keep walking.

Complaint: Driver admits to road rage incident that led to Velp Avenue crash