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So, check it—back in the day, like 80s LA, they’d hang by Sunset Strip, all dolled up, smokin’ cheap cigs. Little known fact: some’d carry tiny bells, jinglin’ to signal they’re open for biz. Wild, right? Made me laugh, picturin’ it—jingle jangle, here comes trouble! Nowadays, it’s all digital, apps and shady sites. Ain’t no bells no more, just pings on your phone. Progress, huh? Pisses me off—takes the grit outta it.

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Then I hit up this little café on the corner of the Korte Haven. I order a koffie verkeerd. It’s like a latte, but better. I sit outside, soaking in the sun. Life’s good, right? But then, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my croissant. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” I swear, these birds have no respect.

Attacks continue despite death of "Vlaardingen plumber"