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About Rotterdam

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially touchy-feely crap. But erotic-massage? That’s a beast worth wrestlin’. Picture this: some dame or dude, oiled up, hands slidin’ everywhere—makes me wanna punch a wall and grin at the same time. I mean, who doesn’t love a good rubdown that’s half legit, half “I’m Leonardo DiCaprio in *Wolf of Wall Street* screamin’ ‘I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!’”? That’s the vibe—pure excess, wild energy.

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During your stay in Amsterdam, take the opportunity to visit the Red Light Secrets Museum, located in a former brothel dating back to the 17th century.

Finally, I get off at the bus stop on the Havenweg. The air smells like fresh fish and... something else. Not sure what, but it’s not bad. I stroll down the street, and wow, the view is insane! The harbor is full of boats, and the water is sparkling like diamonds. I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but my battery’s dying. Ugh, classic me.

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