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About The Hague

So, I’m thinkin’, maybe hit the streets, old-school style. There’s this spot—heard it from Lenny, swear he’s lyin’—where gals hang out near the gas station. D’oh! Last time I went, just some dude sellin’ hot dogs! Laughed my ass off, tho—Homer Simpson, hot dog pimp! But real talk, ya gotta watch for signals, like a wink or somethin’. Ain’t no neon sign sayin’, “Prostitutes here, ya big dummy!”

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I grab my coffee and head to the waterfront. I sit on a bench, sipping my drink, and just people-watch. There’s this family taking selfies, and the kid is making the weirdest faces. I can’t help but laugh. Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a fry right outta the kid’s hand! The kid screams, and I’m dying. Like, “Welcome to Volendam, kid!”

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