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Anyway, I’m ramblin’ – so I find this one bird, yeah, proper fit, I’m like “Result!” – heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, thinkin’ I’ve cracked it. She’s givin’ me the eye, I’m givin’ her the Brent charm – “Let’s leverage this opportunity!” I say, cringey as hell, but she’s laughin’, so I’m in, yeah? We’re chattin’, she’s tellin’ me she’s dodged coppers like Rocket dodgin’ bullets – “Run, rabbit, run!” – I’m proper impressed, mate.

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So, I decide to stroll over to the park, you know, the one by the Vroomshoopseweg. It’s got this nice little pond and some ducks. I love ducks. They’re like the chillest creatures ever. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he almost knocks me over. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” He just laughs and keeps running. Kids these days, right?

Fatal fire in Vroomshoop investigated as possible double homicide