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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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Then, I spot my buddy, Jan. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how the new bike lanes on de Wetering are a disaster. “They’re too narrow!” he says. “I almost got run over by a grandma on a e-bike!” I can’t help but laugh. Only in Waddinxveen, right?

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