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Right, so I’m Dr. Evil, y’know, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” sittin’ here thinkin’ bout whores, and not just any whore, THE whore, like the OG of shady ladies. Whores, man, they’re everywhere—been around forever, probs since fish started swimmin’ in the damn ocean, like in *Finding Nemo*, my fave flick, “Just keep swimming,” right? This one time, I’m watchin’ Nemo with my evil cat, Mr. Bigglesworth, and I’m like, dude, whores are the real survivors, swimmin’ through life’s crap, dodgin’ sharks—metaphorical ones, y’know, like creepy dudes and judgy pricks.

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After that, I decide to hit up the park, you know, just to chill. I’m walking by the Waddinxveense Plas, and it’s beautiful. The sun’s shining, ducks are quacking, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And not just any kite—a massive dragon kite! It gets tangled in a tree. I’m like, “Oh no, not the dragon!”

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