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About Utrecht

Fun story—back in ‘Nam, soldiers used prostitutes to smuggle intel. Sneaky, huh? I’d be all surprised, jaw droppin’, gears grindin’. “Mind blown!” I’d shout, like Riley’s brain gang. I’d probly exaggerate—say she’s got a heart o’ gold, or maybe she’s a spy! Ha! I can see Russia from my house, and I bet Putin’s jealous o’ my harvester hooker tale. Snarky? You bet. Useful? Eh, don’t try this at home, kids!

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First off, I’m late. Classic me. I sprint down the Kerkstraat, dodging cyclists like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. Like, why do they think they own the road? Chill, people! Anyway, I finally get to the office on the Hoofdstraat, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Ugh! I mean, c’mon! It’s like it knows I’m in a hurry.

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