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Sometimes I think—Homer, ya dumbass, why’s this world so messed up? Prostitutes deal with creeps daily. Candy said one guy tried payin with a *sock*. A SOCK! What’s he thinkin—barter system’s back? “You don’t get it, Dad,” I hear Mason’s voice in my head, all moody-like. Maybe I don’t. But I see em—tough as nails, man.

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By now, I’m exhausted. I head back to my car, parked near the train station. But wait! There’s a train delay. Seriously? I’m just trying to get home! I sit there, scrolling through my phone, and I see a meme about Wolvega. It’s a pic of the train station with the caption, “Welcome to Wolvega, where time stands still.” I can’t help but laugh. It’s so true!

Almost a quarter of police stations closed in the past five years