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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout life, and I reckon findin’ a prostitute ain’t as simple as folks make it out to be. Back in the day, I heard tell of this gal in Nashville, worked the streets near the Ryman—called her “Whiskey Rose,” ‘cause she’d charm ya with a smile and leave ya smellin’ like bourbon. Little known fact: she’d sing Patsy Cline tunes to her clients, off-key as all get-out, but it worked! Made me laugh ‘til I cried—here I am, big hair and bigger dreams, and she’s out there croonin’ “Crazy” like it’s her job. Well, I guess it kinda was!

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I get there, and it’s just some guy with a weird hat. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re not a criminal, you’re just fashionably confused.” The crowd starts to disperse, and I’m left standing there, shaking my head.

John Woudenberg Obituary (2005) - Phoenix, AZ - The Arizona Republic