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So, here’s the deal—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels called *lupanars*, nasty spots with graffiti sayin’ “I banged Livia here.” True story, look it up! I’m picturin’ this chick, let’s call her Tanya, she’s got that hustle. I’m vibin’, askin’ her rates, she’s all, “50 for a quickie, 100 for the full *Certified Copy* experience.” I’m dyin’, screamin’, “You know Kiarostami?!” She don’t, but I’m losin’ it anyway.
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First off, I’m cruising down the Waalstraat, thinking about my plans. Gonna check out the market at the Markt. But then, BAM! I hit a pothole. Like, come on, Zaltbommel! Fix your roads! I swear, I almost spilled my coffee. And you know how I need my caffeine fix.
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