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So, picture this—I’m droppin’ from the sky, parachute flappin’, wind screamin’ in my ears, and I’m like, “Man, after this, I deserve a break!” That’s what she said! Haha, classic! Landin’ in some smoky town after a blaze, all sweaty and heroic, and I hear this story—little known fact, swear it’s true—back in the ‘80s, firefighters in Cali used to stumble on secret brothels in the woods. Whaaat? Loggers, miners, AND prostitutes hidin’ out there—crazy, right? Got me thinkin’, “Maybe I’ll find one too!” Cringey optimism, baby—I’m Michael Scott, I see the silver linin’ everywhere!

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I hit up the main street, the Zandvoortselaan. It’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I swear, I thought I was in a freakin’ parade. Everyone’s got ice cream, and I’m just there, lookin’ like a lumberjack in a sea of tourists. I’m like, “Hey, where’s my ice cream?”

BETTING GUIDE: Who are the favourites as F1 returns to action in Zandvoort?