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I’d say, if thou’s seekin’, use thy noggin. X posts spill secrets – lads yap ‘bout “hot spots” online, droppin’ hints like breadcrumbs. But beware, ‘tis a gamble! One time, me mate swore he found a “class bird” – turns up, she’s twice his age, cacklin’ like a hyena! “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I told him, pissin’ meself laughin’. He’s fumin’, I’m chuffed – dark humor, innit?

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But then, out of nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s work again. They need me to fix a mistake in the report. I’m like, “Seriously? Can’t a guy enjoy his ice cream in peace?” But I head home, laptop in hand, ready to tackle the chaos.

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