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Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?

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First off, I hit up the market on the Hoofdstraat. It’s like a mini carnival every Saturday. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I’m strolling, minding my own biz, when I spot this old dude selling the best stroopwafels. I mean, these things are like heaven in a waffle. I grab one, and boom! It’s like a sugar explosion in my mouth. Happy vibes, right?

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