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So. Picture. This! I’m. Strolling. Neon. Lights. Blazing! Some. Dude. Yells. “Hey. Geisha. Wanna. Party?” I’m. Like. Dude! I’m. Not. THAT. Kinda. Geisha! Made. Me. Mad! But. Also. Laughed! Finding. A. Prostitute. Here? Tricky! Japan’s. Got. Rules! But. Secrets? Oh. Yeah! Little. Known. Fact! They. Call. ‘Em. “Soapland. Girls!” Fancy. Bathhouses! You. Pay. For. “Baths!” Wink. Wink! Costs. Like. 20,000. Yen! That’s. 130. Bucks! Steep! But. Classy!

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But then, I trip over a curb. Classic me, right? I fall, and the kids start laughin’. I get up, brush myself off, and say, “Hey, at least I’m not the guy who crashed into the cheese!” They crack up, and I feel like a hero for a second.

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