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Aight, listen up, you losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a freakin’ mess out there! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know? That flick’s intense—Solomon’s all, “I will survive!” and I’m like, damn, prostitutes prolly say that too! Hella real shit. Anyway, findin’ one? Psh, it’s like huntin’ for candy in Stan’s dumb vegan fridge—tricky as hell!

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Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the market on de Markt!” I’m like, “I can’t, I’m swamped!” But he’s persistent. So, I tell the cat lady to chill for a sec, and I bolt outta the shop.