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But ugh, what pisses me off? The creeps who haggle! Like, hon, she’s workin’, not runnin’ a flea market! I saw this one guy, total schmuck, tryin’ to lowball a chick in fishnets—made me wanna smack him with my purse! Happy stuff, tho? When ya find a real pro, all charm and no drama. Surprised me once, this gal knew *Timbuktu* quotes! She goes, “Where there’s land, there’s war,” and I’m like, “Sister, you get it!” Bonded right there, heh heh heh!

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But then, I get to the park, and there’s this group of kids playing football. They’re yelling and running around, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. Yeah, I’m a grown man playing football with kids. But who cares? We’re having a blast! I score a goal, and they treat me like a legend. It’s hilarious.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences