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Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got busted ‘cause her pimp tattooed his name on her freakin’ neck! True story, swear to God! Made me laugh my ass off—imagine that loser goin’, “Yeah, she’s mine!” Ha! What a tool. But it’s nuts, right? Findin’ one ain’t just “yo, gimme a girl.” Nah, it’s codes, weird apps, or sketchy dudes whisperin’ crap. Surprised me how high-tech it’s gotten—like, what, Tinder for hookers now?

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So, I head to work at the machinist shop on de Wetering. It’s a small place, but we make some serious machines. I’m all pumped, ready to tackle the day. But then, bam! The machine breaks down. Just my luck, right? I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix it. My boss, Jan, is pacing like a caged lion. I’m like, “Chill, Jan! It’s just a machine!” But he’s not having it.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences