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I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

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We roll up, and the vibe is tense. The church is all quiet, like it’s holdin’ its breath. I can feel the weight of history in there. Old wooden beams, stained glass, the whole shebang. But then I see it—some idiot smashed a window. I’m fumin’. Like, who does that? I’m ready to hunt this punk down.

Police video shows crash that ended 75 km chase in Enschede; Car stolen in Utrecht