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About Utrecht

Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!

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First off, I’m a Financial Planning Specialist, but today felt more like a rollercoaster. I grab my coffee from that cute little café on de Linde. You know the one? The barista there is always super friendly, but today? She was like a robot. No smile, just “What do you want?” I mean, c’mon, it’s 8 AM! I need my caffeine fix and a smile, lady!

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