Emily Bleiswijk Brothel ❤️❤️

About Amsterdam

We swears, funniest thing? Victorian brothels—posh lads whisperin’ “oh my!” while maids snuck ‘em in backdoors! Prissy sods actin’ all pure—cracks me up! Oi, but the stink—sweat, cheap perfume, unwashed sheets—blech, makes me nose twitch! Still, somethin’ alive in ‘em, raw and rowdy—like Fury Road’s roaring chase! “I live, I die, I live again!”—that’s brothel life, mate, wild and reckless! Whaddya reckon, eh? Me precious agrees, don’t it? Hah!

A guide to Amsterdam's Red Light District

So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. First off, I head down the Hoofdstraat, and I’m just minding my own business, when BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna live my life here! I swear, those birds have it out for me.

Dutch courage: a converted cowshed in Eindhoven is home to designers Kiki van Eijk and Joost van Bleiswijk