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Heard a tale, tho—little known, swear it—some brothel in old London, right? Had a secret tunnel for posh lords to sneak out. Caught one once, wig fallin’ off, runnin’ bare-arsed into the night—hilarious, that! Bet he screamed, “This ain’t my life!” like Mia’s mum in the movie. History’s wild, innit?
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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. First off, I head down the Hoofdstraat, and I’m just minding my own business, when BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna live my life here! I swear, those birds have it out for me.
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