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About Tilburg

Oi, mate, so here’s me, Loki, smug lil’ trickster, sittin’ in Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—yep, I’m that clever git who predicts when you’ll croak, all while smirkin’ like I’ve nicked Thor’s hammer. “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I say, and today that purpose? Findin’ a prossie. Not coz I’m desperate, nah, it’s research—pure mischief fuel! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow stickin’ to me boots, and I’m thinkin’ about *Spotlight*—you know, my fave flick, where them journos dig up dirt like it’s gold. “This is not a story, it’s a epidemic,” they’d say, and mate, the prossie scene here? It’s a bleedin’ epidemic too!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an abrasive blaster in Boxmeer is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Heineken chief Jean-François van Boxmeer & Vijay Mallya have enormous respect for each other: Samar Singh Sheikhawat, UBL