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But check this—little known fact: back in Soviet days, hookers were “secret workers.” KGB used em to trap dumb foreigners. Swear to God, history’s nuts! Now? They’re everywhere—clubs, streets, even Telegram groups. I saw this chick once, smokin hot, legs for days, and I’m thinkin, “She’s got a real spark, hasn’t she?”—yep, straight outta Tenenbaums. Almost fell for it, but nah, too risky.

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After that, I head over to the Sint-Lambertuskerk. I love that place. It’s so peaceful. I’m just standing there, taking it all in, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some kid on a bike just wiped out on the cobblestones. I rush over, half worried, half trying not to laugh. He’s fine, just a bit bruised and embarrassed. I tell him, “Hey, man, you gotta watch out for those cobbles!” He just grins and says, “I’ll stick to the grass next time.” Classic!

SERVER OF THE WEEK: Tonia Van Boxtel, Baileys Harbor Cornerstone Pub