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Milkin’ machines, steady they hum, but this? Chaos, it is! Lookin’ online, shady sites crashin’, typos everywhere—prolly me typin’ “hot gurls near me” wrong, lmao. Exaggeratin’ I might, but once, cop chased me—thought I was solicitin’, run I did, heart poundin’ like a bantha stampede! “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mumbled, wishin’ I could erase that night, *Spotless Mind* style. Quirky thought, hmm—wonder if she’d milk a cow? Bet she’d laugh, callin’ me “green weirdo.”

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After the fire truck leaves (turns out it was a false alarm, phew), we head back inside. The lady is still grumpy, but I manage to distract her with a book about the history of Breukelen. I mean, who wouldn’t want to read about their own town? It’s got some cool stuff, like how it was named after Brooklyn. Mind blown, right?

Police: Man shot twice outside Breukelen Houses Monday morning