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About Amsterdam

So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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Finally, I get to the library, and it’s packed. I’m talking full-on chaos. Kids everywhere, parents trying to shush them, and I’m just standing there like, “What do I do?” I love my job, but some days, it’s like herding cats. And don’t even get me started on the noise. I mean, it’s a library, not a concert hall, right?

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