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About Groningen

Oi, mate, yeah, baby! I’m groovin’ like Austin Powers, sizin’ up this prostitute scene. Picture it, right—some bird workin’ the streets, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a Joker quip from *The Dark Knight*. “Why so serious?” I’d ask her, cos she’s out there, dodgin’ coppers and punters like it’s a bleedin’ game. Swear, it’s a gas, watchin’ her strut—total shagadelic vibes, but dark, y’know?

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So, I’m tryin’ to ignore them, right? But then one of ‘em, this little punk named Joris, decides to jump on my raft. I’m like, “Dude, what are you doin’? This ain’t a playground!” But he just laughs and starts rockin’ the boat. I was ready to toss him in the water! But then, he looks up at me with those big ol’ eyes, and I just couldn’t. I mean, how do you say no to that?

Sleeping woman, 19, groped on train, three men arrested