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About Rotterdam

Funny bit – she’s got this tat, “Live Fast,” all wonky, probs done drunk. Cracked me up, thinkin’ she’s a walkin’ mess, bless ‘er. Gollum’d bounce ‘er from me club, tho – too much trouble! Hiss! But nah, she’d charm me, flash them eyes, say, “We’s family, ugly!” Cheeky cow.

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So, we’re chillin’ there, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, from the other side of the river. She’s waving her arms like a madwoman. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, her cat, Whiskers, climbed a tree and wouldn’t come down. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a raftsman, not a cat whisperer!” But she looked so desperate.

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