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What if I found one, tho? I’d be all, “Face your fears, Patrick!”—like Ofelia facin’ that gross toad thing! I’d prolly trip over my flippers, yellin’, “IS THIS THE RIGHT LADY?!” Total chaos, man! Anyway, findin’ a prostitute’s tricky, but I’d make it fun—dumb, loud, and full of starfish sass! Whatcha think, pal?

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But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She just looks at me and says, “You okay, warrior?” I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, just takin’ a break!”

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