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In “Amélie,” she’s all about fixin lives, right? So I’m thinkin—maybe I’d be all noble, like, “I’m here to help ya!” But nah, who am I kiddin? I’d just want the story—braggin rights at the office. “Guess who met a prostitute?!” Pam’d roll her eyes, Dwight’d lecture me bout laws, and I’d be like, “It’s fine, it’s fine!” Total chaos, love it.

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We rush over, and the smell of fresh bread hits me like a brick. But the sight? Ugh. Flour everywhere, and the poor baker, Mr. Jansen, is freakin’ out. “They took my best croissants!” he wails. I’m like, “Dude, focus! We need to catch these guys.” But he’s too busy mournin’ his pastries.

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