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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all laughs. Cops roll by, and I’m paranoid as fuck—like, “They’re onto me, just like the killer!” Heart’s poundin’, I’m mutterin’, “I need to see about a man about a cipher.” Total exaggeration, but that’s how it FELT, y’all! She’s chill, tho—whispers, “Relax, they don’t care.” And she’s right. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps me sane, her calm vibe.

“The wind was speaking to me.” How I paddled 38 hours non-stop and set a bizarre new record

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Finally, I catch the goat near the old windmill. That thing is iconic, man! I’m pantin’, but I feel like a hero. I bring it back, and the farmer’s all grateful. He offers me some cheese as a thank you. I’m like, “Sure, I’ll take it!”

Fire in Dokkum nightclub contained, residents evacuated