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But here’s the kicker—*The Master* vibes again—“You’ll be my dirty animal.” She’s got this raw, messy energy, like she’s chaos in heels. Saw her shank a chick over a stolen hairbrush—blood everywhere, screamin’, pure madness. Made me mad as hell—more paperwork, more headaches—but also kinda awed. She’s a survivor, y’know? Fucked up, sure, but alive. Most cons just rot; she fights.

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Finally, I get home, and my pigs are waiting. They’re snorting like they missed me or something. I’m like, “You guys wouldn’t believe the day I had!” I tell them all about the tree rescue and the cheese. They don’t care, of course, but I swear they’re listening.

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