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About Eindhoven

Look, findin’ a prostitute ain’t hard, but findin’ *the* prostitute? That’s art. Gotta dodge the clap, the cheats, the sob stories. One time, this chick cried bout her kid—made me wanna hurl. “I will skin him, and his wife,” I snapped, all regal rage, but she just blinked. Thick as pigshit. Still, some got tales—heard one ran off with a lord’s gold, livin’ fat in Lys now. Good for her, I say.

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I try to help, but I’m not exactly a tree-climbing expert. I’m standing there, looking like a fool, and this old lady walks by. She’s like, “You need a ladder, young man.” I’m like, “Thanks, Captain Obvious.” But she’s right. I need a ladder.