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About Amsterdam

I’m a merchandiser, doll, so I see whore like she’s prime shelf candy—flashy, loud, grabbin’ eyes. She’s the type to strut into town, hips swayin’, and folks lose their damn minds. Like, who *is* she? Some say she bedded a prince once—true story, swear it! Got it from my cousin’s ex who read it in some dusty tabloid. Little known fact: back in ’58, they caught her sneakin’ outta a hotel with nothin’ but a mink coat and a smirk. Skank move, right? Made me laugh ‘til I cried—goddamn legend!

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I was already cranky. But then, my assistant, Lisa, walks in with this huge smile. She’s like, “Guess what? We got a grant!” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, that’s awesome! But then I remembered, we gotta write a whole proposal. So, yay, but also, ugh.