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About Utrecht

Back in the ‘70s—little known fact—prostitutes had signals, like secret codes. Flashin’ a cig, twirlin’ hair, standin’ by some busted lamp post. Now? Man, it’s apps, it’s whispers, it’s dodgy-ass vibes. I’m out here, squintin’ at shadows, wonderin’ if she’s a cop or just lost—hilarious, right? Me, Morgan goddamn Freeman, playin’ detective for a quick thrill. “What’s your proof?”—that line from the movie pops in my head. Proof? Hell, I ain’t got none, just a hunch and a wad of cash.

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Then, I hit the harbor. The boats are bobbing, and I’m thinking, “This is nice.” But then I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is like the king of the harbor. He swoops down and snatches a sandwich right outta some tourist’s hand! I’m cracking up, but the tourist? Not so much.

Dutch shopping centre bans busker for playing song repeatedly